Regardless of Age or Time

Why is it that “real” struggles are seen as something only adults may experience? These struggles are viewed as impactful, serious, and most importantly, valid. While it is true that the hardships one experiences as a fully grown adult are unique and difficult, why is it that the same cannot be said for young people? The trauma and hardships we experience are so easily dismissed一even by ourselves.

We view hardships of adults as ones that actually matter. When in reality shouldn’t they hold the same merit regardless of age or time? It may be a fact that childhood and adolescence is a short period of time in one's life but it is nonetheless such a critical one. This time in one’s life shapes human development: it is in childhood and growing pains that our ideals and values are given such strong foundations.

In our psychology class, we recently discussed trauma. As far back as our first term we even covered human and lifespan development. But these more recent learnings aren’t what brought me to the idea of this topic. It was while I was simply sitting alone with my thoughts, that I was able to truly think. I sat there thinking about how much I missed the carefree girl I used to be. That is before life came crashing down on me. Dramatic, right? Well, those were my thoughts exactly. Why was I even thinking something like this when I was still a teenager? But then I let my mind wander more. After all, what is so wrong about processing how my struggles have shaped me? I was forced to quickly adapt to take on responsibilities at such a young age. I was forced to live with the thought that I could only truly ever depend on myself. That doesn’t even touch upon the struggles of finding my own identity and not understanding who I was, or what to do with my life.

This is all to say experience, and how we deal with it, impacts our perspective, especially at such a young age. At this time, our minds, ideologies, and more are being shaped. These patterns that we form carry on into our later lives and inform our goals. Early relationships have a way of impacting how you view and behave in your adult relationships. Questions of intimacy and attachment stem from our initial relations with guardian figures. The morals you carry within yourself come from all your years of learning and development. Honestly, I could go on and on but I simply do not have the word count to do so.

No matter how insignificant an issue may seem to one person it could just as greatly impact the life of another. Something as forgettable as potty training or pacifier usage, impact habits and personal understanding. What more to say about the times you felt like the world was crumbling around you? With the unfamiliarity and innocence of childhood and the heightened hormones of adolescence. Things could feel even bigger and impactful at the time. Regardless of age, we experience hardship. There is no magical age where you suddenly start facing “real” problems. Struggles with family, finance, and more can occur at any point in your life. Even if the job of remedying the issue doesn’t fall to you, you would undoubtedly be caught in the crossfire.

So, no, no kid is actually “mature for their age.” There is also no one that is “too young” to experience “actual” struggle. There are simply people trying their absolute best to navigate through this world. People with real struggle that pain them in some way or another. People with struggles that all hold the same weight.