Failure or failing is something that we all experience, no? Whether small or big, it can still drag us to our lowest points. These past few months have been rough with exam and requirements season, and personally, I’ve gone through a lot of mini failures. Thinking about it made me upset most of the time and affected my performance, which turns into a cycle of sadness /hj.
However, it is important for us to acknowledge that experiencing failure is normal and happens daily — it’s what we do after it matters. Even so, what do we actually do after? With one’s thoughts scattered or a bit lost, it’s hard to think of your next move, and you may end up fixating on your mistake.
Here are some reminders you can use as you go through your journey:
Your feelings are valid.
First and foremost, your feelings are very, very, very much valid! It’s alright to feel a bit upset or whatever emotion comes up.
I think that, without taking time to accept and understand your feelings, you can never really move on or get back to work. There’s still going to be something at the back of your head bothering you.
Allow yourself to feel bad, embarrassed, sad, mad, or whatever arises. Identify how you truly feel and work from there.
It’s okay to cope.
We all cope in very different ways. However, some of the ways we cope might be unhealthy.
You might say you didn’t really care about that grade, or you didn’t really mind how your project came out, but these things won’t really make it better. Looking for temporary reassurance or comfort will not help in the long run.
Bonding with your pet, going for a walk, talking with your friends, or any act of self-care are a few ways you can deal with what you’re feeling or going through. Take your time and look for healthy coping mechanisms that work for you.
Investigate, investigate, investigate!
It’s time to look for where you went wrong, the evaluation stage of this whole process.
It’s important to look for where you may have gone wrong so that you can use it as a lesson the next time you try again.
Once you’ve identified your mistakes and have noted down all the places you can learn from, it is time to get ready to move forward. If you can, make a plan or a guide that includes all you've learned.
Remember, your failures don’t define you. You are more than that one mistake you’ve done — it doesn’t define your whole being.
As former US President Barack Obama has said, “You can't let your failures define you — you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time.”
Take this as an opportunity to experience new things and as a breakthrough for personal growth. Without failure, we wouldn’t really know the feeling of success.
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